fuckcallum:

It baffles me that there are people in the world that actually like fruit cake

Maybe for one day we one day we should quit pretending we care and just let the world burn. Only then, with the fire under their ass will people get up and find the water to put it out before everything they know turns to Ashes. 

So, one night, as all my stupid ideas develop, I was taking weeds hits out of an apple, I had the brilliant idea to eat the rest of the apple. (This proved to be the second dumbest idea of the night.) Upon The ball-trip that ensued, I thought it would be funny if mixed DNA obtained from Madonna’s used underwear (thank you, eBay) with a half eaten cashew. After the fusion was finished, I filmed it’s horrible attempts to sing and uploaded them to youtube, thinking maybe 3 people would ever see it. I was wrong. some record producer found it and decided he would use it in his plan for world domination. To top it off, not only had “Justin” escaped, the producer found him before I did. After years of silently trying to dispose of it, and hoping it would just fade into obscurity, I can’t take it anymore. I created Justin Bieber. and I’m sorry. every time your ears have been raped by this creature, it was my fault. I know nothing can ever make up for it and that after this goes public, I will be the most hated person in the world. but I felt that you needed to hear the truth. but hey, it’s not all bad, I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico. 

Ever get tired of seeing so many tits on your tumblr dashboard and not knowing who they belong to so you can google them and umm… bask in their artist integrity? 

lucky for you, I’m making it my personal mission to add a name to pair of exposed hooters on Tumblr. 

#NamesToKnockers